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Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Splendor

During Christmas at one time or another we are prone to sit back and reflect the greatness of the birth of our Savior. We focus in on the lack of room in the inn and how Mary bore him in a lowly manger. We reflect the wise men and their expensive gifts. We picture the shepherds seeing the angels glorifying God and telling them about the Christ child.

I, on the other hand this Christmas season, have thought about the greatness God gave up by coming down to earth.

"In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon the throne, high and lifted up; and the train of His robe filled the temple. Above Him stood the seraphim...And one called to another and said: 'Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord of Hosts; the whole earth is full of His glory!'"
Isaiah 6:1-3.

"Around the throne, on each side of the throne, are four living creatures...And day and night they never cease to say, 'Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come!' And whenever the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to Him (which is all the time by the way) who is seated on the throne, who lives forever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before Him who is seated on the throne and worship Him who lives forever and ever. They cast their crowns before the throne, saying, "Worthy are You, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for You created all things, and by Your will they existed and were created'"
Revelation 4:6-11.

He gave up constant praise, constant adoration. He gave up perfection and painlessness (in a bodily sense). He gave up comfort. He gave up being right and having everyone not only know it but be ok and enamored by it. Can you imagine?

He gave up gold streets and magnificient robes. He gave up His incredible throne. He gave up a place that adored Him, that worshiped Him, that walked exactly in His ways. He gave up everything. EVERYTHING.

This Christmas season and the rest of the year it's very easy to get bogged down and find how unfair life can be. It's easy to get irritated when someone doesn't pull the weight you've deemed necessary for them or when someone inevitably disappoints you. It's easy to feel entitled to certain perks, benefits or alotments. It's easy to feel sorry for yourself because you're left out by friends, not loved enough by others or somethings has gone terribly off course from your expectations. In all of this however, as big of a deal as we always make it, it's a lot different if you sit back and let the weight of what Christ gave up sink in comparitively to what you feel like you're owed.

I often find myself wanting people to know my value, know how intelligent I am, know what I'm capable of. I want people to honor me and stand in awe when I speak. Christ gave up all of that glory and came down to a world that interrupted Him, cast Him down, spit upon Him, threw things at Him, beat Him and finally nailed Him to a tree to kill Him. The amazing thing to me is that He knew all of that beforehand. He knew as He created the world, as He made the choice to come to earth and die for us even before the world began. He knew He'd have to save us from ourselves. He knew He'd have to cast aside His glory and enter our torn and broken domain. He knew what He'd have to give up and He still came.

Am I willing to give it all up just like Christ did? Am I willing to cast aside my own glory, my own intelligence, my own talents, and love those who might not ever fully appreciate it? Am I willing to do someone else's job and pay someone else's penalty even if I don't have to? He didn't have to, but He did. His life here on earth was very significant but maybe even more significant is the magnitude of the life He gave up so that we instead might have it.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Hope

I talked a long time yesterday with a woman whose son recently tried to commit suicide. She talked about watching him sleep that night because she was too afraid that he might try again. She spoke soberly about the great tragedy that he feels no hope.

No Hope- that's what people without Jesus have. It made me hurt for her and her family that they live lives without Jesus and waste away both inwardly and outwardly because of poverty. It also made me think of what we choose to put our hope in during our stay in this world. I've done quite a bit of work down on the gulf coast serving the victims of hurricane Katrina. We say victims because of the great devistation and tragedy that they underwent and continue to feel the wake of because of the demolition of their earthly posessions. And yet, I find myself each time I am down there more and more realizing that I envy the uprooting, the purification, the realization that our great Heavenly Father has given them that they truly need nothing apart from Christ.

We shouldn't have any hope apart from Christ. Even so in our world, we've done a fairly excellent job of imagining things that bring us seasons or moments of hope. We try and mount those things atop one another to keep the feeling a moment longer. I confess I sat listening to this poor woman tell me her story wondering where else I place my hope. Her son was at the end of his ability to displace hope and sadly I think those are the times that we're most primed, most able to find true hope and freedom in our risen Savior. I wonder what else we put our hope in to try and make our lives better. I know I often put my hope in clothes, in my put-together apartment, in my car or in my other possessions. I put my hope in having lots of friends or having a great family. I put my hope in things that of themselves are not bad but as things that block my full need and realization of that need of a Savior. I put hope and survival in those things and many others in order to not feel the vulnerability that comes with living solely by faith.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

great mercy

I'm so forgetful. I get frustrated with myself all the time when I forget something really important or don't allow enough time to get somewhere or complete a task. I like being perfect and having people be impressed with my ability to do everything I say and to help out frequently. I like being that girl that people can count on. But you know what? It's exhausting trying to be a certain person and hold a certain image. I find myself too often at work thinking, 'God, I can't hold that person up. It's too heavy.' I was never meant to hold her up. Jesus was meant to hold us both up. "O my God, incline your ear and hear. Open your eyes and see our desolations...For we do not present our pleas before you because of our righteousness, but because of your great mercy. O Lord, hear; O Lord, forgive. O Lord, pay attention and act. Delay not, for your own sake, O my God.." Daniel 9:18-19.

When I pray, I often pray because of my righteousness. I bargain with God as though He needs to be reminded of the nice things and the "God points" I earned that day. I act as though I deserve certain things or I beg as though He's a mean old man who rarely gives me anything I ask. I dare not ask for too much though because then my answered prayer quota will be used up and I won't be able to get something better I want later that day. I transcend too many human and earthly father qualities on my Heavenly Father. For we do not present our pleas before you because of our righteousness, but because of your great mercy. He doesn't make fun of us when we ask for silly things. He may chasten us but that is always a loving rebuke that brings us back to a God-center that we so desperately need.

I wonder if I have even a small incling of his great mercy? If I realize He takes special time and extra care for me at all times. I wonder how long it will take some of us to begin to understand the concept that Jesus understands the hard fight we fight every day- to get out of bed, to read scripture, to pray, to love those around us and beyond, to be a light in a very dark place. I wonder when we'll also understand that we're not meant to do it alone, we're not meant to do it by ourselves with our own righteousness. We're meant to fall at the feet of a risen Savior, a man who already defeated everything we encounter and believe after a while that He truly can do it all and that His greatness so far outweighs what we can do that we should stop doing for the glory and give it all to him. I wonder when my life and yours will be about His great mercy and His righteousness and not our own. I have light in me but His light so far outshines mine that why do I strain to keep mine burning when all I have to do is reach over and burn straight from the source?

Monday, December 08, 2008

An excellent spirit

"Then this Daniel became distinguished above all the other presidents and satraps, because an excellent spirit was in him. And the king planned to set him over the whole kingdom. Then the presidents and the satraps sought to find a ground for complaint against Daniel with regard to the kingdom, but they could find no ground for complaint or any fault, because he was faithful, and no error or fault was found in him" Daniel 6:3-4.

I could find plenty of error or fault in my own life and probably the lives of those around me if I really wanted to dig. Daniel strikes me as a very different fellow than most of the Christian world because of his deep love and aquaintance with the unbelieving world. Daniel was one of the top authorities in the entire world at the time. The Bible says that King Darius had him as one of three presidents that fell just below the king himself and had plans to make him even higher as the authority over the other two presidents. So how could Daniel achieve all of this and still have an excellent spirit that continues to be faithful and not corrupt because of his time spent?

We often say that we should live in the world but not of the world. I think Daniel had a great handle on what that means. When Daniel interprets dreams or the handwriting in chapter 5 he refuses gifts saying, "Let your gifts be for yourself, and give your rewards to another". Daniel didn't want the glory as I so often do. Daniel knew a great God that gave him that authority and he realized that it was not he himself who had accomplished anything. When I do something kind or make some great decision I want people to know about it. It seems like there are always strings attached with me and I often think about the good things I've done to someone and how they owe me when I need them for something. Daniel knew that even with great wealth and prosperity, with great riches and glory, with great acclaim and honor, that he would be "Tekel, you have been weighed in the balances and found wanting" if he trusted in the same things his King Balshazzar trusted in. I wonder if we truly know that if we trust in things of this world we will be found wanting?

An excellent spirit is found in those who steadfastly remain affixed on God and realize that from His overflow comes complete satisfaction and joy in this life. I wonder why we search for it in all the wrong places. Considering Daniels lofty position in the world at the time, we don't have half the pressure that he did to go astray and seek after worldly gain. Yet he knew that it was all inconsequencial when it came to knowing his Creator- so much so that he publicly worshiped knowing he would get thrown in the lion's den, almost asking for it.

I wonder if I ever encapsulate that excellent spirit. I'm willing to worship when I have time or its convenient but under such harsh circumstances I wonder if I would go immediately to my house and get on my knees by an open window and pray where people could hear like Daniel in chapter 6. I wonder if I could maintain that excellent spirit as well as Daniel.