One of the central things I'm most afraid of is being wrong. You may laugh, saying that everyone is wrong at some point. Sure, very true. But I will do almost anything to avoid it. And if that doesn't work, I'll do my best improv when the opportunity presents itself to cover any doubt that a mistake could be made on my part.
So, another similar fear of mine is that my Christian life is severly or even slightly misguided. And as I read a passage of scripture today I found myself once again getting caught in the depth of my confusion.
"During supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, to betray Him, Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going back to God, rose from supper" John 13:2-3.
When I read these verses for themselves and excavate them from the surrounding scripture I'm left with two parallel, yet distinct themes. The devil put it in Judas' heart to betray Jesus and Jesus was in control of all things. Do me a favor- step back a moment and draw up in your imagination a picture of Jesus being in complete control. Can you see it? Harmony, peace. All roses, huh? But here, in this picture John draws for us it's not that way. It's pretty ugly actually.
I love the order John writes in- no mistaking that Jesus was in control in the midst of the devil consuming Judas. But here's my struggle- did Judas have an aching inside of him, burning a hole right through him that he was wrong? I'm not asking about the end, after he had betrayed Jesus; I'm asking did he know all along, all the way back to the first step he ever took astray, that he was wrong?
Now you may be thinking, no one could possibly convince himself that stealing money from the disciples, sneaking around, having Jesus call you out at the last supper and then handing him over to die could be right. Ok, I see where you're coming from- but where you're coming from is HINDSIGHT. Hindsight is an incredible thing where we can look back and see the whole picture. But at the time, the picture was much less complete, much less clear and much less apparent.
So my question is, can I be Judas? I'm pretty well convinced that there are thousands of people that believe without a doubt in a certain cause, in a certain way and in a certain absolute truth. I'm pretty well convinced that some, not all, but some suicide bombers believe their cause is right and true and that they would not be doing it unless they thought it was truly their duty as a servant of their god. I'm pretty well convinced that some people that are doing, in my eyes, pretty ugly things fully believe that what they are doing is right. So how can I be sure that's not me too?
But if I shudder at the first phrase in the passage and realize that it's very possible for evil to inhabit even the best of us (Paul, for instance), I cannot end my thoughs there. I have to incorporate the second theme and see that despite the devil's inhabitation, Jesus is in control of the whole situation. So, my thought becomes this: with God's authority and control we'll be wrong plenty of times. But the central theme of Christianity is glorifying God and loving one another. Now those two things can mean many things but if I stay myself on those two issues and keep from getting caught up in the confusion of the more complicated, then if I'm wrong at least I can rest knowing that I am working out my faith and that someday when I am called to account I can honestly say I fought the good fight and did what I could to pursue truth. And I think that God will still use us, even if we are wrong, to work out His great will and that HE will reveal His truth in His time.
And the hardest, and I mean it, and most challenging conclusion I can draw is that I need to be willing to be USED by God, not for my glory and my proof of my correctness, but of HIS glory and truth. God needed Saul and Judas just like He needed Peter and Paul.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Definitions of Common Words
I read the following a little while ago and maybe it will help you follow my train of thoughts:
"Though it may be argued, theoretically, that a Christianity in which men know how to picket, but now how to pray, is bound to wither, theorizing is not required, because we can already observe the logic of events. The fact is that emphasis upon the life of outer service, without a corresponding emphasis upon the life of devotion, has already led to obviously damaging results, one of which is calculated arrogance. How different it might be if the angry activists were to heed the words found in The Imitation of Christ, 'Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.'
"The essence of pietism, by contrast, is the limitation of primary interest to personal salvation. Even today, by the highways, we can see signs paid for by somebody, which urge us to 'get right with God.' The evil of this well-intentioned effort lies not in what it says, but in what it so evidently omits. The assumption is that salvation is nothing more than a private transaction between the individual and God and that it can become an accomplished, dated event."
-From The New Man for Our Time by Elton Trueblood
Follow me for a second, would you, and then hopefully you can see where my rabbit trail emerges. So I read this in my little devotional book and it got me thinking about how as believers many times we have the best of intentions with things and we so desperately want people to see the light and goodness that we see in Jesus that we don't actually give the entire picture. It then led me to thinking about one of my favorite quotes by Amy Carmichael that says, "Persecution winnos the grain, and we do not want a church of chaff." This quote to me spells out the goodness of God in hard times. He knocks us down to build us up.
But now continue on down my rabbit trail and I hope you will see the full circle. When we became believers we signed on to a different dictionary than Webster's. Persecution is never positive in any dictionary I've ever read. But Christ says on multiple occasions that His people will suffer much for their decision to follow Him. So if God is good all the time- and He is, that's not up for discussion currently- then persecution helps make the church and its people stronger, thus glorifying the Kingdom (thus being good!). Or take good. If you look it up you'll find things like "above average condition, high-quality." Is that what you call a situation that we've all had in our Christian journey when things go horribly wrong? There are many other words I like to use in those bad situations and "above average" isn't one of them. But those situations are "good" when we think of them from God's definition- meaning things that bring us closer to being more like Him and a little less like ourselves in our human condition.
I could go on and on with examples but my point is this: when we signed on to Christianity our dictionary had to change. We have to stop seeing things from the world's perspective and we have to start learning God's perspective.
Maybe you'll resonate with one last example.
" O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me. Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame." Psalm 25: 2-3a.
I can think of about a hundred or more examples when I've felt pretty embarrased in life. And from my human perspective embarrasment and shame are pretty much the same thing. I'm ashamed when I do something dumb (ranging from tripping on the sidewalk to actual sin). I felt "put to shame" in college on many occasions when the "cool thing" was not something I wanted to do and people thought I was a little uptight.
But God's definition must not be my definition because I'm going to choose to believe instead of doubt. So if I'm going to believe I'm going to take Him at His word and His word says "NONE who wait for you shall be put to shame [PERIOD.]" Not "put to shame sometimes" but "not put to shame ever." So my definition must be WAY off, way misguided, way too far deep into our culture and what we find as happiness-giving but really is a temporary band-aid for deeper needs. Whatever emotion I've experienced in those situations whether because I'm sticking up for Jesus or because I've done something clumsy, it's not shame. And you know why? Because God says He made me perfect and I know what His definition for that word is. It may not always be my definition, but I'd rather use His dictionary anyway.
"Though it may be argued, theoretically, that a Christianity in which men know how to picket, but now how to pray, is bound to wither, theorizing is not required, because we can already observe the logic of events. The fact is that emphasis upon the life of outer service, without a corresponding emphasis upon the life of devotion, has already led to obviously damaging results, one of which is calculated arrogance. How different it might be if the angry activists were to heed the words found in The Imitation of Christ, 'Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.'
"The essence of pietism, by contrast, is the limitation of primary interest to personal salvation. Even today, by the highways, we can see signs paid for by somebody, which urge us to 'get right with God.' The evil of this well-intentioned effort lies not in what it says, but in what it so evidently omits. The assumption is that salvation is nothing more than a private transaction between the individual and God and that it can become an accomplished, dated event."
-From The New Man for Our Time by Elton Trueblood
Follow me for a second, would you, and then hopefully you can see where my rabbit trail emerges. So I read this in my little devotional book and it got me thinking about how as believers many times we have the best of intentions with things and we so desperately want people to see the light and goodness that we see in Jesus that we don't actually give the entire picture. It then led me to thinking about one of my favorite quotes by Amy Carmichael that says, "Persecution winnos the grain, and we do not want a church of chaff." This quote to me spells out the goodness of God in hard times. He knocks us down to build us up.
But now continue on down my rabbit trail and I hope you will see the full circle. When we became believers we signed on to a different dictionary than Webster's. Persecution is never positive in any dictionary I've ever read. But Christ says on multiple occasions that His people will suffer much for their decision to follow Him. So if God is good all the time- and He is, that's not up for discussion currently- then persecution helps make the church and its people stronger, thus glorifying the Kingdom (thus being good!). Or take good. If you look it up you'll find things like "above average condition, high-quality." Is that what you call a situation that we've all had in our Christian journey when things go horribly wrong? There are many other words I like to use in those bad situations and "above average" isn't one of them. But those situations are "good" when we think of them from God's definition- meaning things that bring us closer to being more like Him and a little less like ourselves in our human condition.
I could go on and on with examples but my point is this: when we signed on to Christianity our dictionary had to change. We have to stop seeing things from the world's perspective and we have to start learning God's perspective.
Maybe you'll resonate with one last example.
" O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me. Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame." Psalm 25: 2-3a.
I can think of about a hundred or more examples when I've felt pretty embarrased in life. And from my human perspective embarrasment and shame are pretty much the same thing. I'm ashamed when I do something dumb (ranging from tripping on the sidewalk to actual sin). I felt "put to shame" in college on many occasions when the "cool thing" was not something I wanted to do and people thought I was a little uptight.
But God's definition must not be my definition because I'm going to choose to believe instead of doubt. So if I'm going to believe I'm going to take Him at His word and His word says "NONE who wait for you shall be put to shame [PERIOD.]" Not "put to shame sometimes" but "not put to shame ever." So my definition must be WAY off, way misguided, way too far deep into our culture and what we find as happiness-giving but really is a temporary band-aid for deeper needs. Whatever emotion I've experienced in those situations whether because I'm sticking up for Jesus or because I've done something clumsy, it's not shame. And you know why? Because God says He made me perfect and I know what His definition for that word is. It may not always be my definition, but I'd rather use His dictionary anyway.
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