the true self

Have you ever really admitted to God who you really were? Right then and there I bet you met Jesus- and experienced hope in a way you had never before imagined. God doesn't really start working in our lives until we trust Him with who we really are. That is perhaps the first taste of the true faced life. When we first become believers it's stunning. Incredible. It paints our world in colors we hardly knew existed. But, something happened to many of us in the intervening years. We lost confidence that His delight of us and new life in us would be a strong enough impetus for a growth that would glorify God and fix our junk. So, we gradually bought the slick sales pitch that told us we would need to find something more, something others seemed to have that we could never quite get our hands around. Something magical and mystical that we would receive if we tried hard enough and proved good enough, often enough. And so we began learning to prop things up. We went back to trying to impress God and others-- back to posturing, positioning, manipulating, trying to appear better than who we are. Our two-faced life has severely stunted our growth. And broken our hearts. And left us gasping. Although we may have accumulated titles, status, and accomplishments, we personally remain wounded and immature--long on "success", but short on dreams. We are jealous of the people who live in the true-faced life, but our loss of hope has forced us into desperately trying to discover safety from behind our masks. In a very real sense, we are all performers. Because of sin, we've lost confidence that we will always please our audience, and so we put on a mask. As an unintended result, no one, not even the people we love, ever get to see our true face. Once we put on a mask, we have a hard time taking it off.

We can never resolve our sin by working on it. Nor can our striving to sin less keep us from future sins. Oh, we may change behaviors for a while, but as we try to hide the sins we can't control, we are unwittingly inviting blame, shame, denial, fear and anger to become our constant companions. The key to our maturity and freedom lies in the dominant motive that governs our relationship with God. Pleasing God is actually a by-produce of trusting God. Pleasing is not a means to our personal godliness, it is the fruit of our godliness for it is the fruit of trust. We will never please God through our efforts to become godly. Rather, we will only please God-- and become godly--when we trust God. Not do, but be. Trust God with who you are and you will find a way to put down the mask.
-taken from TrueFaced by Bill Thrall, Bruce McNicol, and John Lynch

Why do we stray?

I was reading the call of Jeremiah just now and its words jump off the page. What an honor it must have been to have the Creator of the universe say such powerful words spoken directly to you. But then I realized that if God said these things to Jeremiah then He's saying the same great things to you and I just in our own context of qualities He's equipped us with. "But you, dress yourself for work; arise, and say to them everything that I command you. Do not be dismayed by them, lest I dismay you before them. And I, behold, I make you this day a fortified city, an iron pillar, and bronze walls, against the whole land, against the kings of Judah, its officials, its priests, and the people of the land. They will fight against you, but they shall not prevail against you, for I am with you, declares the Lord, to deliver you" (Jeremiah 1:17-19). Such powerful words spoken to you and I. It says "Be ready for each day- make it count. Do what God says, stay true to the Bible. Don't be afraid of man because God is definitely greater" God's saying, "Hey, I'm making you solid, a person with great stability that can withstand ANYTHING. I'm making you someone trustworthy and refined. Someone prepared and fearless. Trust me." It's such a great promise that God makes here in the first chapter of Jeremiah.

The part that struck me just now and considering the promise we just talked about is this: "What wrong did your fathers find in me that they went far from me, and went after worthlessness, and became worthless?...Has a nation changed its gods, even though there are no gods? But my people have changed their glory for that which does not profit (2:5,11). I realized that there in lies the problem: when we stray from God it's because we changed our god, we've exchanged our glory for something else. Our new god and glory could be wealth, getting what we want, temporary happiness in friends or being noticed, beauty, things, love, comfort or whatever else. We've changed our gods. It's not that God is far off, it's not even that something is wrong with our relationship with God; it's that something is wrong with our relationship with other things, other people that we are confusing to be our glory and our joy. If your life is unstable or unhappy- even if for a moment- make sure your priority, your God and your glory are set on Jesus. He's not going anywhere, only you are.

I see a lot of the people around me doing this and if you do too then here is Heaven's answer: "Be appalled, O heavens, at this; be shocked, be utterly desolate" (2:12). Don't be ok with it, DON'T not saying anything. Don't get used to complacency, it's eating away at our culture. Don't be the one that feeds the virus. It's the small things in life that when let slide can hurt us worse than we know and before we realize it we've exchanged our glory and the people that love us have let us. Don't be ok with that.

What should matter

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever.
Give thanks to the God of gods, for His steadfast love endures forever.
Give thanks to the Lord of lords, for His steadfast love endures forever;
to Him who alone does great wonders, for His steadfast love endures forever;
to Him who by understanding made the heavens, for His steadfast love endures forever.....
to Him who divided the Red Sea in two, for His steadfast love endures forever...
to Him who led His people through the wilderness, for His steadfast love endures forever...
It is He who remembered us in our low estate, for His steadfast love endures forever;
and rescued us from our foes, for His steadfast love endures forever;
He who gives food to all flesh, for His steadfast love endures forever.
Give thanks to the God of heaven, for His steadfast love endures forever. Psalm 136

Read the whole psalm at your next chance and let its words seep into you. Do you hear it? the repetitive nature of the psalm. When I read it yesterday morning I was originally irritated about having to repeat "for his steadfast love endures forever". I lost all context and relevance in the story line with saying that over and over. I couldn't concentrate. When I finished reading I decided that I would go back through and read only the first lines of each verse which is a story about the attributes of God, the great things He did, the trials Israel went through and how thoughout all of it God rescued them and was faithful. Ok, so I got about half way through reading the first lines when I realized that God wrote scripture perfectly. He planned it out, He made not only the books in perfect order but the chapters, verses and words. Each are there for a reason in that spot. I'm not meant to pick and choose. I'm meant to read it all. So because of this thought I started over at the beginning.

I read it aloud and focused on each word, regardless of repetition or not. I couldn't concentrate again on the story line and I realized something. His love endures forever took over the story. It took over the whole passage because it was in each verse. What if that line His love endures forever took over my life story line? I could no longer concentrate on each individual aspect of life- all my hurts, my desires, my frustrations, my likes and joys, my things that fire me up whether good or bad. I couldn't focus on any of that stuff because after every phrase, after every move, after every thought, after every action, after every glance came for His love endures forever. My story would blur, my focus would change, my attitude would be different and my eyes would be solely focused on Jesus because they would have to be. The only way I knew what the story was about in the psalm was by reading the lines without reading the key part. Without the key, without Gods love our story will be the focus and our lives and God's interaction will be the focus. But that shouldn't be. The focus is His love enduring forever. If I focus there, only that which is important will matter.

By Name

"The sheep hear His voice and He calls His own sheep by name and leads them out" John 10:3. He calls me by name. That verse came to light in Mississippi for me. As it struck me the words, "I have called you by name, you are Mine" came into my head from the familiar song. Over our spring break trip to Bay St. Louis to do Hurrican Katrina relief, I had the pleasure of meeting the crew chief of our house project. He was very particular about how he wanted things to be done. The first day was rather frustrating to some of our group because he did most things himself instead of letting us help or do some of the measuring and marking. We were starting the construction of a house on about 10-foot stilts. Anyway, you see where this is going- we were all having a hard time being productive and being loud while having fun was not advisable. About half way through the day I decided to enact some of the things I have learned from a lifetime of trying to meet people where they are as well as the knowledge I have gained from my elementary education classes. I decided to be exactly what he was asking for. I stood beside him and asked questions. Knowing the answer was of no importance, asking the questions was. Somehow he started to like me and we began to strike up a rather intriguing conversation. He was hard of hearing and so would get flustered and nervous when people got loud. He had bad previous experience with a bunch of students and so was hesitant to let us do things without tight supervision. It all made sense really and instead of us helping the situation and being willing to bend ourselves to getting to know him and seeing it from his perspective we were more inclined to get angry that he wasn't letting us help.

He had made the comment on the first day that he was terrible with names. It was true. After the second day, however, he knew my name. It was the craziest feeling for such a simple thing but I'm not sure if I've ever felt so proud of my name and ever realized how much more gripping it will feel when God Himself says it someday. He called me by name. By that simple word "Katie" he accepted me. He deemed me worthy.

I say all of this not to point out my great deed but to make two points. One: we often do not take ourselves out of situations and look at it from another person's angle. There are always under-the-surface factors involved that we must step back and see before we cast judgements and make situations worse. Second, that Jesus accepts us. He calls us by name and we are His. It's such a comforting place, a place where we can leave everything that is going on in our lives and feel whole and know that we matter there. I want to be a person who calls people by name. I want people to feel at home with me because they know I've accepted them. They know I truly love them. The only way I can do that is to focus on Jesus and see that it is evil and not we ourselves that should be treated like evil. We must cast evil out and hate it but we must learn how to love the fallible humans that lay beneath those sometimes dark deeds. It's the old saying, "love the sinner, hate the sin" but it's so true. If we allow our emotions to guide us we will get angry when things aren't right, but if we let Jesus guide us we will love the sinner inspite of what they do.

Sacrifice

"We look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal" 2 Cor 4:18. How often do I sacrifice the eternal for the temporal? I know I harp on this a lot in these postings and if you talk to me even more, but I can't stress it enough. I had a moment just a little while ago that hit me in the heart. Do you ever have those moments that you knew were going to come around and hurt because you chose to let something slide a while ago that now comes back? It was a moment that could have easily been avoided had I not settled for temporal affirmation and satisfaction. We are prone to think that we can let our friends off by not telling them the things that they do to cut us down and "love them in spite of it". Yes, it's true, but there are those moments when we KNOW we should say something, know that they cannot and should not be treating someone like this and yet we allow them. We convince ourselves that this is really loving them and that we need to learn to be stronger and not be so emotionally driven. The details are of no value, but why do we do that? Why do we want people to accept us and stay around so much that we sacrifice the really loving part of the friendship? We do what we need to do at that moment to make them happy instead of being the friend that they really need. Because when we're honest no one really wants that friend right now- the friend that tells you it's not ok to treat them a certain way; the friend that kindly tells you when you should have done what you said you would do; the friend who lets you know that the way you acted the other day or that comment that you made was not appropriate. Those friends, we have a hard time with them. They're the people that love us so much they tell us when they can no longer listen to what we're talking about because it's not uplifting to the Kingdom. The friends that stand by our side when we need stability against all odds and yet tell us when we were wrong.

Anyway, it's because we set our eyes on the things that are seen. We set our eyes on being affirmed, set our eyes on being the best; set our eyes on being well-liked and having lots of attention. We set our eyes on success as being always having plans, always having friends calling, always having the right things to say and do. "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Our treasure is our success and affirmation. We want so desperately to be told that we're valued, that we matter. But you know, that shouldn't be my treasure and it's no wonder that because it is my treasure that that is why my life is often filled with disappointment. "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." When your heart is where your treasure is then your mouth is gonna speak some pretty temporal things that are of occasional momentary value but hardly any eternal. It'll make your a decent short-term friend but not worth it for the long run.

So what do we do? We must not lose sight of the prize. "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God had called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Are we pressing on or are we standing still waiting on people to affirm us and lead our lives? We must not lost sight of Jesus. We MUST set our eyes on the eternal, on Jesus. We must set our treasure on things that matter so that we can realize we matter because the things inside of us matter. If our treasure is eternal then our heart will be there which means our overflow from our hearts is good so that our mouths will speak truth and things of value.

If you have those moments that you're not sure why you're insecure, acting weird or you say something that you're not sure why you said it, know that you're human. But know that's not an excuse. Check your heart, check your treasure. Make sure they're eternal. Make sure they matter because it's the only way you will.

Expecting Sunday

An Easter thought arose in my mind yesterday after receiving a sweet friend's kind note. The note was a warm touch from someone dear to me that knew exactly where I was in life and sought to tell me that he supported me there. I think we search our whole lives for people that will support us and encourage us even at their own expense. Anyway, that's another day. This day is about Easter, blessed Easter.

I woke up Easter morning feeling anxiety. I've had the feeling ever since I got back in town from Mississippi. I went to MS for spring break for Hurricane Katrina relief, but that discussion will come soon. Transitions from long trips or back to reality are always difficult for me. Anxiety comes with the territory. It's more of a time will heal issue than an need to talk it out, but I'm deviating from the real issue at hand. I read life words in a short phrase that this friend wrote. He said that we'll all have our Fridays, but take hope because expect Sunday to come. So much meaning packed into that small phrase. We'll all have our Fridays- those days that are deathly, terrible, blinding, beating and draining. Those days that we can't get up to save our lives and we feel defeated. Those sad days or the day nothing goes right and every good intention turns bad and is taken wrong. Those days. Then there's Saturday- the day that we wait. You are probably all too familiar with those days- the day you get really impatient because you have no clue what God is doing or where He is because He should be acting or at least being vocal about His intentions (or at least this is what you're irritatedly thinking). Those days you run around with no direction and feel like you've hit a dead end and life hangs on that next step if only you knew what it was and it's so frusterating because you honestly would follow God or so you think if He just directed you.

Then there's always a Sunday. Easter Day. The Day Jesus Christ rose from the dead and declared freedom to all the captives. The day sin was overcome and we were fully able to reflect the image of Christ to God as He stood in our very place and cancelled our debt. The day that's glorious and you're pretty sure nothing could possibly go wrong. Even the few minor hiccups of people's doubts or misunderstandings don't bother you because it's a great day. The kind of day that shouts freedom and simplicity. The day that everything is clear and your way is steady and sure. The days that give you a renewed sense of rest in Jesus and satisfaction and contentment. Those days, those great days.

But ya know, in my 22 years of life I've found that it's the Fridays I'm most thankful for. The days that are hard and trying, the ones that I'm not sure I'm gonna make it through. Those are the days that I learn my need for a mighty Savior, one who will never leave me or forsake me. One who walks alongside me on that particular Friday I'm having and says, "Cast your burden on me for I care for you" or tells me that He will never give me any more than I can bear. So I feel privileged on those hard days that God has declared me strong enough to withstand what He has given me and that I am being refined to be more like Him.

Without the Fridays we wouldn't continue to die so that we can live more like Christ. In all my life I hope that I continue to thank God for Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays that this life brings.

Whatever

"Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me- practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." (Philippians 4:8-9). Such common words in our Christian vocabularly, yet they hit me today as I read Colossians. My eyes caught a passage marked above in chapter 4 of Philippians as I scanned the first page of Colossians about rejoicing in the Lord always and as I read through the remander of Philippians those 2 simple verses caught my eye. Think about these things. My mind races and I'll have to admit I'm slightly ashamed when I think of what I think about. How often I am thinking about something very different than my facade appears and my actions portray. "Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart." I wish not. How often do I live up to the outward appearance but not to the heart, the inward thoughts and desires that consume me so often with evil. So how to I combat this? How do I strive with all His energy to follow God? I think about such things. I think about whatever is true, whatever is honorable, commendable, pure, excellent and worthy of praise. I choose to set my mind on things above and not on earthly things. For the things of this world are fading, but the eternal things are forever. What else do I do? Practice what I have learned and seen. The interesting thing to me was that this is Paul speaking, not Jesus. Not the perfect man that descended to earth to take away our sins, no. It's Paul, the guy who transformed from truly terrible to truly magnificient because he let Christ be all. How did he do it? By thinking about such things. By letting Christ be his role model, his person that he looked to for practice for life. Look at the promise- the God of Peace will be with you. What more could we ask for in life, what more could be want? You may not know that's what you want, that's what you need, and you may be thinking that you wish you could honestly say that's all you want. But know this, in 22 1/2 years of life I have come up short in every avenue that I have desired that wasn't God. I have come up short and it has failed me. It has disappointed and left me wanting. The God of Peace will be with you. You can't have peace and still be wanting. You can't have peace and be disappointed. You can't, and you won't. It's a promise.