To Live Above Reproach

I have such an issue with this whole living above reproach concept. I know, I know, it’s in the Bible so Heaven forbid I have a problem with anything. Yes, I do believe God is a ‘my way or the highway’ kind of God (in the most gracious way that phrase can possibly be used), but I also and more importantly believe we need to excavate the area surrounding scripture.

To live above reproach. I’ve always wanted to buck it. Why should I have to change just so that someone else will not think I’m doing something wrong? What if it’s not wrong? I so often take the words verbatim and never consider the life of Christ, never consider Biblical consistency and cohesion, never consider how our world has skewed phrases or pulled out little things and made them disproportionate to how they were intended. This may or may not be such an all-encompassing case, but it holds a valid argument enough for me to get my frustrations off my chest.

“Pilate said to them, ‘Then what shall I do with Jesus, who is called Christ?’ They all said, ‘Let Him be crucified!’ And he said, ‘Why, what evil has He done?’ But they shouted all the more, ‘Let Him be crucified!’” (Matthew 27:22-23). If someone wants to hurt you, they’ll find a way. They didn’t have a valid argument to kill him (“for Pilate knew it was out of envy that they had delivered Him up” v18). They weren’t being logical or rational. WE are not always logical or rational or even sane sometimes. If someone wants you portrayed in a certain light because of whatever motive, they’ll find a way.

“And they took offense at Him” (13:57). The crowd took offense at Jesus because of His wisdom and ability to perform miracles although He was from that same rough, small town they were. You may say that’s ridiculous, but it’s true. He did only good to and for them there, but they took great offense.

So people are going to do all the crazy things they’re going to do and make the crazy assumptions they want to make, so what difference does it all make? I detest the idea of being legalistic. “Teacher, we know that you are true and do not care about anyone’s opinion. For you are not swayed by appearances, but truly teach the way of God” (Mark 12:14a). True and we should live like this. Look at who Jesus was- a friend of tax collectors, prostitutes, drunkards, outcasts. A friend to the friendless, to the unworthy. But if you think about it, He also caught flack from everyone about possibly living a double life due to His close relationship with these people. So what’s the difference? Jesus was above reproach. He hadn’t committed any sin and spent time with these types to communicate the life-giving and freeing power of God. He wasn’t justifying having a little more fun, wasn’t validating His wrong actions, wasn’t feeding his addiction all in the name of do-gooding. Jesus had pure motives.

When Jesus stood before the Sanhedrin, the Jewish Council, plenty of false witnesses tried to come and testify against Him. I bet they said all kinds of things like, “He’s a drunkard” “He’s a liar” “He doesn’t do the things He says He will” “He’s a deceiver and a manipulator”. But none of them were right and so He had no need to defend His way out. I try on different occasions to adhere to this ‘live above reproach’ concept in our world and here’s the conclusion I just drew. To live above reproach is to attempt to live with as much integrity as Christ. To live in such a way that everything we do honors God. Yes, we fail miserably, but the times we fail it’s because we’re trying to honor ourselves by getting farther in life by career, money or friends. To live above reproach is to abide in the Law of God and yet have the abundant freedom offered within its parameters.

I learned a great deal about Christianity over the weekend. I learned that God has a great plan to bring us closer to Himself through the most unlikely means. I learned that God loves to see us having fun as He rejoices in our joy as we acknowledge that fun as glorifying to Him. Jesus was accused of being a drunkard. Jesus was accused of sleeping around. Jesus was accused of being a very rotten person. I think of this ‘live above reproach’ concept and I realize that it’s not always about not going places or being apart of situations because people might think badly of you. It’s always doing things that glorify God so that in those pure motives we can work out our own salvation. Yes, it sometimes can mean abstaining to benefit another, but I think we miss the important part that living above reproach is about living blamelessly so that when the accusations come, as they will, we can stand before God as those called righteous. Those that did not break the Law of God set in place for our benefit. And those who lived with great integrity and freedom because our God loves to see His children exclaiming the satisfaction they find in Him through means some may label differently.

Think through me

"Think through me, thoughts of God,
My Father, quiet me,
Till in Thy holy presence, hushed,
I think Thy thoughts with Thee.

"Think through me, thoughts of God,
That always, everywhere,
The stream that through my being flows
May homeward pass in prayer.

"Think through me, thoughts of God,
And let my own thoughts be
Lost like the sand-pools on the shore
Of the eternal sea."

-Amy Carmichael

Is it I?

I am a lot of things. On different occasions you will find me in different moods, opinionated on different subjects, talkative or quiet, patient or abrupt, happy or sad. If you know me, you know I’m a lot of things. “When it was evening, He reclined at table with the twelve. And as they were eating he said, ‘Truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.’ And they were very sorrowful and began to say to him one after another, ‘Is it I, Lord?’ He answered, ‘He who has dipped his hand in the dish with me will betray me…Woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been better for that man if he had not been born’” (Matthew 26:20-24). I wasn’t there, so I can’t judge for certain, but I don’t think I would have responded as humbly as each disciple. I think I would have been more like Peter when Jesus told him he would deny- “I will never fall away…Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!” (vs33-35). I have at least that much arrogance to tell Christ He’s wrong to His face and that I know myself better than He knows me. Hmm...I wonder how many times I’ve actually done that?

I look at Matthew’s recount of the story here and I marvel at the humility and sheep-likeness of the disciples. They sit eating with their Great Shepherd. They’re, I’m sure, soaking in every word He’s saying. He astonishes them by admonishing that someone in their close-knit twelve will betray. Here’s what interesting- if they knew anything they knew their own wretchedness. They couldn’t account for others and they dared not point any fingers any place else but towards themselves. They may not have understood what Jesus actually came to earth to do, they clearly did not comprehend all of His ways and teachings, they were not the smartest men by a long shot and Jesus later explains that they will in fact all fall away that very night (“For it is written, ‘I will strike the Shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered’”). What they understood very plainly was their great depravity in comparison not only to Jesus but also to the way God intended for us to be apart from sin.

Instead of replying, ‘no we would never!’ they realize a few key truths. 1) Jesus is never wrong- If he says it, it happens. 2) They know how weak they are and they realize the accessibility they give evil to creep in and create ruin in their lives. 3) They’ve dealt with people turning away and denying they ever followed- people they probably thought would do great good and then shocked them. 4) They were scared and their master kept telling them He was going to die which partially made sense and partially confused them. They took all their prior knowledge of who Jesus was and everything He’d ever done in their sight or hearing and they realized above all their great depravity compared to the perfect Christ. They knew they could betray, deny Him. Heaven knows our church was built on a pillar that denied three times. Is betrayal so much worse?

I find myself at this stage of life wondering in the very same place as the disciples did then. Is it me, God? Will I betray You? Will I deny You when the going gets tough? Will I shake an angry fist when You don’t give me what I want when I want it? Will I grow tired of waiting on You? Will the knowledge of eternal rest and pure joy with you give me enough strength to hold out no matter what the cost? Is it me? But you know, in our society, we don’t like dwelling on things that don’t paint us very well. It’s so very easy to forget this moment and go on without a true measure of sorrow for our inadequacy as Christ-followers. Is it I, Lord? Will I be able to fight the fight? Here’s the great part- When we finally realize we weren’t meant to be able to fight, we let our weakness, just like the disciples’, make us humble enough so that God can be magnificently strong.

"I want to see!"

“And behold, there were two blind men sitting by the roadside, and when they heard that Jesus was passing by, they cried out, ‘Lord, have mercy on us, Son of David!’ The crowd rebuked them, telling them to be silent, but they cried out all the more, ‘Lord, have mercy on us, Son of David!’ And stopping, Jesus called them and said, ‘What do you want me to do for you?’ They said to him, ‘Lord, let our eyes be opened.’ And Jesus in pity touched their eyes and immediately they recovered their sight and followed Him” Matthew 20:29-34.

It makes me sad when I think of all the times I’ve been the crowd telling someone to hush, it’s Jesus, be more respectful. Be more reverent, stop yelling, stop waving you hands, stop dancing. Stop doing things in His presence that might not fit into my box of what Jesus wants. Stop. I bet the crowd was thinking, or at least the people in the crowd like me, “I know more than ya’ll do about this guy. He wants to tell me something wise right now, not heal you. Be quiet. He doesn’t have time for you, He’s helping me. If you would come at Him like I do then maybe you’d get more response.”

But here’s what’s interesting. The men didn’t seem to care. It was to their extreme advantage that they’d probably been persecuted and put down their entire blind existence. They had already learned to cope with people telling them to be quiet and from years of learning to ignore the put downs they continued in their pursuit of the Lord who could heal. I wonder if I have the faith and character to endure years of hardship to help grow me and mature me for one such moment as this? I wonder if I could ever get so far past people’s opinions that I didn’t even blink when it came to deciding between listening to them or getting to Jesus?

Another thing I find interesting is what they requested. “Lord, let our eyes be opened.” Another version says, “Lord, I want to see!” Their blindness altered their entire existence. They knew the great limitations it presented them. Do we know our great depravity from spiritual blindness? Are we willing to push through the crowd to get to Jesus? Are we willing to run down the aisle to reach Him faster? No shortcuts are acceptable, but running shortens the journey. Lord, I want to see. And I’m not willing to take any other healing but full healing. I’m not willing to stop until you have pity on me and I recover my full spiritual sight. Are we that relentless?

Two things I ask

What’s it like to truly ‘live in the moment’? What’s it like to depend on God for every mouthful, every drink, every night of sheltered sleep? What’s it like to constantly depend on God for food and shelter? What’s it like to be needy? Some of us are 'blessed' enough that we've never personally known the answers to these questions.

“Two things I ask of you: deny them not to me before I die: Remove far from me falsehood and lying; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me, lest I be full and deny you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name of my God” Proverbs 30:7-9.

This passage goes against every middle class value I’ve ever been taught. Well, I take it back. It by no means contradicts my acquired values, it merely emphasizes principles that I would never wish upon myself if I were being totally honest. I’m sorry God; did you say possibly no savings account? Did you really mean maybe no ownership of a house, ever? Did you mean it that I might not ever feel full when I’m eating and I may not know where or when my next meal may occur? Did you mean it that I can’t sometimes plan for the future or even know what tomorrow might bring for me?

Seriously now, this is my life we’re talking about. I’ve got to have some plan, some system, some routine. I’ve got to. I’ve always had it. I like my neat little life, my savings, my 5-year plan, making more money than I need, eating more than I should, exercising less than I should, sleeping a lot, getting my way, feeling safe and secure. I like my neat little tidy life. I don’t love some things, some big things, but I like knowing my future is set and my financial life is secure. I’d like to make way more money actually, who wouldn’t? God, are you telling me that all these things might be harmful to me instead of good like I’ve always seen them?

Things in themselves are for the most part not bad or evil. They are inanimate and therefore do not hold a specific bad purpose on purpose. But when we allow them to dictate our lives, when we begin to see them before we see God, when we begin to use them as crutches, as security, as any place that the Lord is meant to fill, then they become harmful and destructive to us. God often shows us just how unnecessary they are for our eternal survival; Heaven knows He’s done it to thousands in this current recession. Poof, 401k gone. Stock, see ya, bye. Job, business-budget cut and that someone that had to go was you. 10-year plan out the window. The idea of even going out to dinner becomes unimaginable for many right now. But here’s the interesting thing and the point: It’s not a sign of failure to have all these earthly possessions drained from you.  On the contrary, we might even should ask for it. That’s right, I said it. If anything is keeping us from utter dependence on God, anything that makes us even for a moment forget the Lordship of God then it is making us full- it’s filling a place that only God is meant to fill and it needs to be revamped. It may not need to be cut out, but it needs to be altered

Let me put these verses in context for a second. This is Solomon who wrote this- the most, or filling one of the top slots at least, wealthy person that will EVER live. I wonder what it would be like to live like Solomon is describing. If he of all people is making a comment such as this then surely all of the rest of us should listen. If someone so wealthy, so put together, someone who has anything he could possibly want in the whole world is saying that he’d rather live moment to moment and have God provide everything, then maybe we should listen up. Maybe we should trust God’s provisions a lot more and love the world’s a lot less. I wonder what it would look like to truly realize that money is just paper and we should use enough to survive and be willing to give the rest away? Solomon got it, when will the rest of us catch the boat? Lord, don’t even make me full, lest I forget you. This is a man that knows his limitations and made provisions with God against them- What are you doing about yours?

Return

"So you by the help of your God, return, hold fast to love and justice, and wait continually for your God....But I am the Lord your God from the land of Egypt; you know no God but me, and besides me there is no savior. It was I who knew you in the wilderness, in the land of drought; but when they had grazed, they became full, they were filled up, and their heart was lifted up; therefore they forgot me." Hosea 12:6; 13:4-6

Are we capable of realizing our need for God when things are good? We often hate the bad times, the times when we have a big fight with someone, the times we lose a job, the times we don't have enough money to pay the bills, the times of illness, the times of loss..the list goes on and on. We hate those times mainly. We ache inside and long to be rid of the constant strain in puts on us. We lose sleep, we cry, we are easily agitated and yet we find ourselves praying more. We do so, sadly, because God's our last resort, our only remaining line of defense (or at least we hope we're still defensible). We pray to the God of Heaven and hope that He hears (which He always does). We pray and hesitantly think something may happen, but who knows.

In my limited experience, prayer is meant to not only change situations but it's meant to change us. It's meant to search out all the grievous ways in us, all the yucky pride and contempt, and it's meant to transform us to more of the likeness of Christ. All too often, however, we only want out situation to change, not us. We fight against the very answer God is trying to give us when we pray. Look at the passage. There is no savior besides God in Jesus. None. We can't save ourselves, we can't erase bad things we've done, we can't take bad judgment calls back, but we can be completely forgiven in Christ. We can walk through our wilderness, our land of drought, our hard times, with God and allow Him to lead and guide us. Not to necessarily get us out of the wilderness but to be fed there, to survive there sometimes, even if for just a season, and learn that He truly is our Savior and Lord.

The sad thing about our great depravity is that we become full and we turn away from God. We want to be full, we pray to be full during the drought but when we reach it we go our separate way because now 'we've got it all on our own'. I'm learning that sometimes the drought, sometimes the hard situations are the best places to be in. Not because we want to bask in our mistakes, our short-comings, our ways that keep us from a perfect relationship with Christ, but because in our moments of weakness Christ can be presented strong. Christ can be in our lives what He came to be, our Savior.

Rejoice in your weakness, for in it is your key to life everlasting as a great sinner who has a great Lord.