Truth

My car was pinged a few times in the storm a few weeks ago that brought hail. At first I thought I wouldn't take it in- it's getting older and I've been parking it outside too much in the last few years. The doors, hood and truck have their fair share of scratches and tree sap. I had a brick from my chimney fall on it a few months ago that left a fairly large dint in the side and a small crack in the tail light. It's a well loved car.
But there is some hail damage and so I decided to take it in for the estimate. My initial thought was (and still is) a hope that maybe some of the other wear and tear will get fixed too because they're on the same parts damaged by the hail. And then I thought about the brick ding. I hoped they'd include it on the insurance claim- get it all fixed at once. After all, it happened in a storm too.

Ah yes, but it didn't happen in the same storm or at the same time- and I chose not to fix it several months ago. But, my internal justifier says, I can answer truthfully and tell them it happened in a storm (notice the "a" and not "the" but they'll never notice) and get all my mistakes fixed in this one insurance claim.
"Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with his mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me"  Psalm 131:2.

We spend so much of our time justifying our actions. We mull over phrasing of words and manerisms until we've crystalized our truth. We can explain away how our mistruths frankly were for the greater good. We get away with things because "they don't hurt anyone" and so they're ok.

Several years ago I was down on the Gulf Coast repairing a few churches with some friends. We started in the main-hub church and most groups went out to other churches. My group stayed to help bring some organization to the operation. The pastor met with us shortly and went into a meeting, leaving instructions with the assistant that we needed to pull up the carpet in the sactuary because it'd been damaged by the storm.

Other than wear and tear nothing was wrong with the carpet. The church had only sustained minor exterior damage in the hurricane, no interior flooding or problems. With my suspicions about me, I spoke with several qualified people who verified my story of no interior claims. They were committing insurance fraud, trying to pull up the carpet and dispose of it before the adjuster got there so they'd get to claim it as damaged.

Fraud. That's a heavy word. No chance that pastor said to himself, "I'll commit fraud today so we can get new carpet." No, they needed new carpet and what was the harm, he probably thought. He'd justified his actions and probably had pushed it out of his mind enough that he felt fine. At the time, to say I was angry was an understatement. I wanted to storm in and tell this guy off- how dare he abuse power, particularly as the shepherd of not only this church body but of this whole reconstruction undertaking. I was disappointed.
God has this amazing way in my life of showing me exactly how other people feel in their lowest points. Not always at the time, sometimes years later, but I get there, eventually. I know how he feels now. What's the harm? Insurance is too expensive anyway, they owe me. I'll tell them it's all one claim. And I may be overly legalistic about all of this and I probably won't argue if they do end of fixing everything- but I hope I won't lie or even mislead them about it (which is the same as lying). "Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with his mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me." From my understanding, weaning is a hard thing. The child is used to mom being around all the time and making all the decisions. The child trusts mom and whatever she does is what happens.

But when you wean a child he's got to learn to live independently to a large extent. He can still be apart of mom's life but he's now got his own life and his own choices. Isn't that the perfect picture of the soul verses the human condition? We got to pull our souls away from our human depravity. We've got to separate these evil thoughts we have of manipulation and cheating. We've got to wean ourselves from our sinful nature. We won't ever be totally disconnected while we're in these human shells but we've got to live independently as much as we can. It won't be easy just like weaning a child is most unpleasant. But we've got to commit and do it because can you imagine a child that was never weaned? Much like a Christian that's still living in and of this world.

A child that's never weaned would never do well in this world. A Christian that's never weaned would never do well in this world or the next.