I read something just now and it made me realize how often we in our culture misinterpret things of God. As common as the writings of Paul have become, I often take lightly the great depth of insight they contain. He weighs each word according to proper usage and speaks clearly the words he intends. I struggle with mission trips, not because of the phrase, just simply because of the short amount of intense effort done leaving the community served in a few weeks max and going back home leaving them with maybe a resurrected building, a nice coat of paint on their peeling church walls, cleaned streets, or vulnerable hearts left with a verbal commitment to this Christ that is still partly a stranger to them. My heart breaks with the feeling of abandoning these weak souls, usually with a group member telling me, "we left pamplets," that makes me wonder if they really understand, has any good resulted in this trip, will they be changed, will they know the God I know..? BUT LISTEN~ Paul was a frontier missionary, a pioneer missionary, whose job was to plant the church in places where there were no churches and then move on while the church went on with the work of evangelism. He says at one point, "But now, since I no longer have any room for work in these regions.." REALLY?! I'm pretty sure if anyone said that nowadays we would consider them arrogant. But he wasn't! He knew His task. He was the first guy in and knew what needed to be proclaimed. Moreover, he knew the necessary prayer life to bring to saving grace that particular town.
But actually here's my point. Do I know the God I proclaim? Paul knew deeply this great God and could not contain himself but to share this great joy. He wants to go to Rome but has been unable due to the task he willingly operates of spreading the gospel to foreign places. We have this free Book, this free guide to knowing God, realizing our life purposes, understanding conflict and other people, yet I somehow don't adequately use this vital tool. This vital tool we call the Bible with its life-giving words. Its words that should be the reason we 'live and move and have our being'. What will it take for our generation to see the magnitude and importance of scripture?
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Monday, September 04, 2006
a new adventure
So I've started this up again... bringing back memories already. In a way it's for me, I find it almost selfish to hold on to things or tidbits I've learned that are not mine to keep. In other ways, it's maybe for you.. not sure how, but maybe so. I've been asked my many to keep it going, so here we go.
Scripture often makes my heart stand still, if only for a moment, over the amazing way each word was written. The Bible transcends all worlds, all generations, all languages, all everything. It's just as alive today as ever. That's thrilling to me. "The Lord said to Samuel, 'How long will you grieve over Saul, since I have rejected him from being king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil, and go. I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite, for I have provided for myself a king among his sons.' And Samuel said, 'How can I go? If Saul hears it, he will kill me.' And the Lord said, 'Take a heifer with you and say, 'I have come to sacrifice, and I will show you what you shall do. And you shall anoint for me him whom declare to you'" (1 Samuel 16:1-3). This struck me tonight as I read it and realized the awesome grace of God. Do you hear it- the fear in Samuel's voice, the lack of trust in God when it all comes down to it. But do you also hear the patient, collected, merciful voice of our God replying in our words, "ok, you're insecure and worried.. I'll give you a way out. I'll provide you comfort and visible protection. That's fine and I love you. I know you're human and I'm ok with that." Such mercy, goodness, kindness. No anger or burning wrath over what we in our age would probably consider lack of faith. I find myself so stressed over presenting myself to God and being the person I want to be. Come as you are. Samuel was scared, he told God.
The only God I can believe in (and as far as I know it's the right one) is the God that deeply desires for honesty, truth, intention, and meaning. A God that yearns for us to cast ALL our cares on him- our insecurities, our lack of desire to pray, our impatientness, our lack of love for another, our faithlessness, our stuborness, etc. all of it; not praying for the big things and fixing the little ones on our own (you know the little ones like increasing patience, joy, passion for reading the Bible, loving other people etc- the ones we forget that only GOd has the power to do, we just to ask and wait in expectation for him to fulfill)
Scripture often makes my heart stand still, if only for a moment, over the amazing way each word was written. The Bible transcends all worlds, all generations, all languages, all everything. It's just as alive today as ever. That's thrilling to me. "The Lord said to Samuel, 'How long will you grieve over Saul, since I have rejected him from being king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil, and go. I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite, for I have provided for myself a king among his sons.' And Samuel said, 'How can I go? If Saul hears it, he will kill me.' And the Lord said, 'Take a heifer with you and say, 'I have come to sacrifice, and I will show you what you shall do. And you shall anoint for me him whom declare to you'" (1 Samuel 16:1-3). This struck me tonight as I read it and realized the awesome grace of God. Do you hear it- the fear in Samuel's voice, the lack of trust in God when it all comes down to it. But do you also hear the patient, collected, merciful voice of our God replying in our words, "ok, you're insecure and worried.. I'll give you a way out. I'll provide you comfort and visible protection. That's fine and I love you. I know you're human and I'm ok with that." Such mercy, goodness, kindness. No anger or burning wrath over what we in our age would probably consider lack of faith. I find myself so stressed over presenting myself to God and being the person I want to be. Come as you are. Samuel was scared, he told God.
The only God I can believe in (and as far as I know it's the right one) is the God that deeply desires for honesty, truth, intention, and meaning. A God that yearns for us to cast ALL our cares on him- our insecurities, our lack of desire to pray, our impatientness, our lack of love for another, our faithlessness, our stuborness, etc. all of it; not praying for the big things and fixing the little ones on our own (you know the little ones like increasing patience, joy, passion for reading the Bible, loving other people etc- the ones we forget that only GOd has the power to do, we just to ask and wait in expectation for him to fulfill)
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Under His Canopy
something written before I left New Zealand..
Not to me, Father, not to me, but to You be all praise and glory forever.
"Over all the glory will be a canopy. It will be a shelter and shade from the heat of the day, and a refuge and hiding place from the storm and rain." (Isaiah 4:5b-6) You see, these are life words to me. A canopy over the glory. The glory of the Lord- the great Will of God. A canopy will be over it. That's it, the secret to knowing the will of God. How often we as mere humans struggle to "find the will of God". I know so many people that want to live his/her life for God, but are so uncertain all of the time as to the direction God is leading them. We find ourselves worrying about our futures constantly, trying to decide about college, graduate school, boyfriends, sororities, or even the seemingly smaller things like spending enough time praying or being in the word, studying for tests, insecurities, etc. All in one instant we find that our lives have completely turned on end and are upside down and backwards from how you ever thought it would be. OK, probably not that drastic, but what are you uneasy about? Yeah, go ahead, we all have them. Recently I've been so frusterated with myself for not spending time in prayer and in the Word. I've been angry at my slothfullness and my lack of care toward other people. I've been eating a lot out of boredom and thus adding to my list of aggitations. I'm not living in the canopy. This is not what God had planned as best for my life right now. Yes, we have those certain souls that would say "nothing is outside the will of God." I agree. I dont' think I'll ever be able to wrap my mind around a world that the Holy One does not have absolute and utter control and power over, after all, He created it, so everything createD would be lesser than He, deeming Him as Lord and Master. But, just because He can doesn't mean He does utterly control. No, no our loving Father does what He created the Father figure to do, allows His children to learn and grow from mistakes and hard lessons. A child will only truly know to trust a Father when He tells them not to do something after they have done something and reaped the consequences of that disobedient action. (Was it meant to be that way- after the fall, I mean?)
Not to me, Father, not to me, but to You be all praise and glory forever.
"Over all the glory will be a canopy. It will be a shelter and shade from the heat of the day, and a refuge and hiding place from the storm and rain." (Isaiah 4:5b-6) You see, these are life words to me. A canopy over the glory. The glory of the Lord- the great Will of God. A canopy will be over it. That's it, the secret to knowing the will of God. How often we as mere humans struggle to "find the will of God". I know so many people that want to live his/her life for God, but are so uncertain all of the time as to the direction God is leading them. We find ourselves worrying about our futures constantly, trying to decide about college, graduate school, boyfriends, sororities, or even the seemingly smaller things like spending enough time praying or being in the word, studying for tests, insecurities, etc. All in one instant we find that our lives have completely turned on end and are upside down and backwards from how you ever thought it would be. OK, probably not that drastic, but what are you uneasy about? Yeah, go ahead, we all have them. Recently I've been so frusterated with myself for not spending time in prayer and in the Word. I've been angry at my slothfullness and my lack of care toward other people. I've been eating a lot out of boredom and thus adding to my list of aggitations. I'm not living in the canopy. This is not what God had planned as best for my life right now. Yes, we have those certain souls that would say "nothing is outside the will of God." I agree. I dont' think I'll ever be able to wrap my mind around a world that the Holy One does not have absolute and utter control and power over, after all, He created it, so everything createD would be lesser than He, deeming Him as Lord and Master. But, just because He can doesn't mean He does utterly control. No, no our loving Father does what He created the Father figure to do, allows His children to learn and grow from mistakes and hard lessons. A child will only truly know to trust a Father when He tells them not to do something after they have done something and reaped the consequences of that disobedient action. (Was it meant to be that way- after the fall, I mean?)
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Illusion
"The kingdom of God is like buried treasure that one must search for in order to find" (Matt 13:44- Kees Bruin, artist.) He paints these beautiful pictures that are displayed in the Christchurch art museum all with this verse in mind. Each of his paintings holds many subtleties that unless looked for one would totally miss. I think he's right how you have to search for God in everything. Yes, God is everywhere, but to see Him I think our eyes have to be trained to see first. "God creates everything out of nothing- and everything God is to use He reduces to nothing" (Soren Keirkegaard). When we are born again (although I hesitate using such a phrase that's been so plastered with churchy, unrealistic, save every person you talk to people), we come as a child to the Father. I think this is where my Christian journey turned off the straight and narrow path. Sure, I've been a believer since before I could properly say the words Jesus Christ, but I've never allowed God to be all to me and make me who He wants me. I have this great complex to be perfect, at everything. I don't really like trying things because there's a possibility that I might not be great at it right off, and I'd rather not know. Yet, if people are around I'll be more than happy to step in because then I think I'm being the bigger person by making others feel comfortable, so then I'm able to pat myself on the back for being such a perfectly nice girl. It's a viscious cycle really, my mind is always looking for my gain. Oh, to defeat the mind and stand in victory with Jesus over the sinful nature. I truly think that our greatest enemy is ourselves. We accredit Satan with far more power than he actually has, and far more intelligence too. I mean really, we're so scared in life of bad things happening. But ya'll, look who we're up against- ourselves and Satan. The Devil, this angel that actually thought he could be God and so tried to basically take over- which is completely rediculous. Or is it so? Oh, we could have the excuse that he saw everything that God is in heaven and then crazily thought he could 'beat' God. But is this not exaclty like us? God's everywhere and so mujch of life He has made Himself so clear to us. Everyone that's a believer has had those stand in awe, struck down to your core, can't move or breath kind of moments that you shake your head that God is so real. And yet, we try to control our world and usurp the higher authority. amazing how ignorant we really are.
I think I'm a terrible writer. I think so because unless you have action behind your words they are worthless, therefore making most of my words worthless. I'm learning here that you can make your life seem perfect by telling people only the details that sound good or are pleasing to the ears and entertaining, but where are all the honest people? Where are all the people that ask the hard questions and challenge you to be the person that when they look at you they see? How can I be that person? I think I've waited my whole life for someone to disagree with me. I say all these super 'spiritual' things and get into all these deep discussions all the time, but it's not challenging most of the time. I don't mean that curely or pridefully, but people just agree with me and so let me carry the conversations and they just chyme in occassionally. Most of my talking and writing is really just rambling, waiting to actually figure our what I'm talking about and fuss at myself later for saying such ignorant things. I think I might marry the first guy that tells me I'm wrong and feels no shame and offers no apologies for doing so. You shouldn't, you know.
I think I'm a terrible writer. I think so because unless you have action behind your words they are worthless, therefore making most of my words worthless. I'm learning here that you can make your life seem perfect by telling people only the details that sound good or are pleasing to the ears and entertaining, but where are all the honest people? Where are all the people that ask the hard questions and challenge you to be the person that when they look at you they see? How can I be that person? I think I've waited my whole life for someone to disagree with me. I say all these super 'spiritual' things and get into all these deep discussions all the time, but it's not challenging most of the time. I don't mean that curely or pridefully, but people just agree with me and so let me carry the conversations and they just chyme in occassionally. Most of my talking and writing is really just rambling, waiting to actually figure our what I'm talking about and fuss at myself later for saying such ignorant things. I think I might marry the first guy that tells me I'm wrong and feels no shame and offers no apologies for doing so. You shouldn't, you know.
Friday, April 07, 2006
winter
I wrote this is the airport, and I'll lose or forget it if I don't type it..
I'm sitting in a crowded airport, people on both sides, all from their own backgrounds, with their own experiences and happenings- their failures and their loses, their victories. It makes me wonder at a God like that. A God that controls time and space; a God that has His very "hook in their nose" (2 Kings 19:28) that controls all things simply because He is God and He created all of this. I wish I realized this great truth all the time- that my Heavenly Father has my good in mind through all events of life. It's so easy to see the tragedies of life as harsh punishments from God sent from fire in His fingertip- the judge, always giving me the hard way so 'I'll learn more'. I have this great clowded view of God so often. He controls the Universe- He's huge!
"Now I saw that as God had His hand in all the providences and dispensations that overtook His elect, so He had His hand in all the temptations that they had to sin against Him, not to animate them to wickedness, but to choose their temptations and troubles for them, and also to leave them for a time to such things only as might not destroy, but humble them- as might not put them beyond, but lay them in the way of the renewing of His mercy." -John Bunyan
It inevitably seems that when I come out of these hard times or seasons I almost long to be back in them, although at the time no thought would have been accepted. I learned in a documentary yesterday that the Kiwi bird species of New Zealand have lost their ability to fly because of lack of preditors. Interesting, isn't it? Those things in life that try to hurt us, bring up down, are the very things that keep us flying and being how God created us to be- the "bad" makes us not just be typical, but to fly. Or here's another:
"We are apt to overshoot, in the days that are calm, and to think ourselves far higher, and more strong than we find we be, when the trying day is upon us... we could not live without such turnings of the hand of God upon us. We should be overgrown with flesh, if we had not our seasonable winters. It is said that in some countries trees will grow, but will bear no fruit because there is not winter there." Without the often harsh, trying winter it could bear no fruit and be what God intended for it to be.
I'm sitting in a crowded airport, people on both sides, all from their own backgrounds, with their own experiences and happenings- their failures and their loses, their victories. It makes me wonder at a God like that. A God that controls time and space; a God that has His very "hook in their nose" (2 Kings 19:28) that controls all things simply because He is God and He created all of this. I wish I realized this great truth all the time- that my Heavenly Father has my good in mind through all events of life. It's so easy to see the tragedies of life as harsh punishments from God sent from fire in His fingertip- the judge, always giving me the hard way so 'I'll learn more'. I have this great clowded view of God so often. He controls the Universe- He's huge!
"Now I saw that as God had His hand in all the providences and dispensations that overtook His elect, so He had His hand in all the temptations that they had to sin against Him, not to animate them to wickedness, but to choose their temptations and troubles for them, and also to leave them for a time to such things only as might not destroy, but humble them- as might not put them beyond, but lay them in the way of the renewing of His mercy." -John Bunyan
It inevitably seems that when I come out of these hard times or seasons I almost long to be back in them, although at the time no thought would have been accepted. I learned in a documentary yesterday that the Kiwi bird species of New Zealand have lost their ability to fly because of lack of preditors. Interesting, isn't it? Those things in life that try to hurt us, bring up down, are the very things that keep us flying and being how God created us to be- the "bad" makes us not just be typical, but to fly. Or here's another:
"We are apt to overshoot, in the days that are calm, and to think ourselves far higher, and more strong than we find we be, when the trying day is upon us... we could not live without such turnings of the hand of God upon us. We should be overgrown with flesh, if we had not our seasonable winters. It is said that in some countries trees will grow, but will bear no fruit because there is not winter there." Without the often harsh, trying winter it could bear no fruit and be what God intended for it to be.
The color bracelet
In my Rock Solid group that I volunteer for every Friday night we're teaching the color bracelet. All of us that have grown up in the church are well aware of the color bracelets- red is the blood of Jesus, black is our sin, white is that He washes me whiter than snow, on and on... Are we really supposed to be teaching kids this? Or I even remember my Bahamas experience with my church that I was to share the neat color book with the town people at any point in time that I was allowed even a word with a person. Does this really grow the Kingdom how our Father wants it grown? I just can't wrap my albeit small mind around such a concept that this color wheel produces a lasting believer, there's just no depth. It was probably intended to be a sort of jumping off point, somewhere to start, but I think we've got it all wrong now. How can we acknowledge Jesus as Lord not knowing truths about our new life- like how hard it's going to be and how lonely and misunderstood we will often feel or that Jesus was very different than some of the adjectives we use to describe Him today- the adjectives are correct, but we've changed their meanings. Don't hear me preaching that following Jesus isn't worth it, it's totally 100% worth it, but it's the hardest thing you'll ever do, because you'll try. Every day is the constant struggle to get out of bed, to spend time in prayer, both continually through the day and also in specific chunks of time, to love people I don't want to love and learn to want to love them, to die to myself and live for other people, to press on when I feel like quitting, to speak to people that probably won't speak back, to truly care when I ask how someone is, to care about people more than I care about myself, to not be selfish, to not change my personality and vocabulary for the particular people I'm around, to not have to have the last word, to not have to explain myself and 'look good', to see that I'm enough and I've been made perfect, and the hundreds of other things that are flooding my mind right now. Can you last as a believer knowing a condensed sounds-good version of what Jesus actually is and came to do? I'm not really sure, actually.. I just get so frusterated all the time over the lack of depth in teaching, like we're trying to spare people the truth and teach what makes people feel good.
I'm reading Ezekiel right now. GOOD GRIEF! "We shall not seek to understand in order that we may believe, but to believe in order that we may understand." I think if I didn't have this Tozer quote along with obviously some sort of faith in the Bible being the inerrant word of our living God that is supreme in love as in power, I would have tossed this book out the window having heard only the color bracelet in my new "faith". Have you read Ezekiel? Am I firm in my belief in God enough that if God asked me to say some of the extremely bold, radical and seemingly crazy statements to people that I would be able to do it? Besides the real vision Ezekiel sees at the beginning with the four animals that have strange characteristics amongst eyes covering their bodies where Ezekiel ends up eating a scroll so he can go proclaim to Israel the things God tells him, besides all that stuff, God is shown to be the jelous, angry God that wipes people off the earth for disobeying His commands. You gotta read this stuff- it's amazing. There's no way if I had never previously known the great love of our God that I could read this and still be ok with who God is. But God is great. He's great because He "brings men into deep waters not to drown them but to purify them". In these situations the Israelite population was destroyed and most that survived were scattered, but then the greatest thing happens. God is gracious and does not fully give them what they deserve- on at least 2 occassions God says, "I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh (11:19-20, 36:26). And this is not because of them at all- they're still corrupt, He does it for His name's sake. That's been my prayer recently, that I would follow God whole-heartedly and that God would give me a new heart and spirit in the ways that I'm corrupt and change me not for my own accord (bc a lot of times I don't want to change) but to purify me for His name. We're incapable of changing ourselves in these ways- it's the prayer of the father "I do believe! Help my unbelief" or the ultimate prayer model "Thy will be done".
Thy will be done, Father, above my way, above my plans for life. Oh, God be bigger than me. Be my rock, be the one that prevails. Forgive my hidden faults and keep me from willful sins, may they not rule over me. Make the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart pleasing to you. Give me an undying love for you. God you are faithful, purify me to more of your image.
I'm reading Ezekiel right now. GOOD GRIEF! "We shall not seek to understand in order that we may believe, but to believe in order that we may understand." I think if I didn't have this Tozer quote along with obviously some sort of faith in the Bible being the inerrant word of our living God that is supreme in love as in power, I would have tossed this book out the window having heard only the color bracelet in my new "faith". Have you read Ezekiel? Am I firm in my belief in God enough that if God asked me to say some of the extremely bold, radical and seemingly crazy statements to people that I would be able to do it? Besides the real vision Ezekiel sees at the beginning with the four animals that have strange characteristics amongst eyes covering their bodies where Ezekiel ends up eating a scroll so he can go proclaim to Israel the things God tells him, besides all that stuff, God is shown to be the jelous, angry God that wipes people off the earth for disobeying His commands. You gotta read this stuff- it's amazing. There's no way if I had never previously known the great love of our God that I could read this and still be ok with who God is. But God is great. He's great because He "brings men into deep waters not to drown them but to purify them". In these situations the Israelite population was destroyed and most that survived were scattered, but then the greatest thing happens. God is gracious and does not fully give them what they deserve- on at least 2 occassions God says, "I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh (11:19-20, 36:26). And this is not because of them at all- they're still corrupt, He does it for His name's sake. That's been my prayer recently, that I would follow God whole-heartedly and that God would give me a new heart and spirit in the ways that I'm corrupt and change me not for my own accord (bc a lot of times I don't want to change) but to purify me for His name. We're incapable of changing ourselves in these ways- it's the prayer of the father "I do believe! Help my unbelief" or the ultimate prayer model "Thy will be done".
Thy will be done, Father, above my way, above my plans for life. Oh, God be bigger than me. Be my rock, be the one that prevails. Forgive my hidden faults and keep me from willful sins, may they not rule over me. Make the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart pleasing to you. Give me an undying love for you. God you are faithful, purify me to more of your image.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Faith
Faith: such a mysterious word, noting something that cannot be done on its own, but only through the grace of God. It's interesting because I was struck by it tonight. Tonight it occured to me that what goal do we expect to reach in praying if we don't have the faith to believe things will happen? I'm in Matthew 9 today when Jesus continually says, "Your faith has made you well," or connects the healings to their faith. In the latter part the two blind men come to Jesus crying for mercy. His first question is, "Do you believe that I am able to do this?" Then Jesus says, "According to your faith will it be done to you." That's amazing to me. According to their faith. agh, I wish I had that faith. I think this is the question that God asks us time and time again in our prayer life and daily existence. "Do you believe that I can do this- heal your grandmother from cancer, enter into a dear friend's life, provide a spouse, get that job, or even give you someone to talk to, make you be satisfied with him alone, give you courage when you're afraid, be real to you, etc. We ask God so many things and then often seemed shocked when these things happen. Why is that? According to your faith will it be done to you. I'm not saying that if something is fulfilled it means you had great faith in that circumstance, surely our Heavenly Father knows all things and works things out according to our good.
Ah, but then the question is raised as to the attaining of such faith. As previously stated it does not come in a neatly tied box or cannot be humanly generated. That's unfortunate for those of us that are the bull headed, I can do it on my own and don't need anyone folks. But ah, Jesus came to call the sinners because the healthy aren't in need of a doctor, so maybe I should seek out my sin, in order to realize that I too am in great need of dependence on a Savior and cannot do anything to receive eternal life. So to answer this we turn to the Mark's gospel chapter 9 verses 22b to 24. I think this is such a humble way to come to Jesus. As strange as it may sound to us Bible belters, maybe this is where we should start in prayer. This man comes to Jesus in all his questioning and uncertainty and dares not act like he's got it all together, but instead says, "if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us." Sure we can read our Bibles and listen to "strong believers" tell us that God can do all things, but I think we have to grasp and believe that for ourselves, and not merely take someone's word for it. I think my whole life I've just had this understanding that God is over all things, but I've hardly come to Him in my true heart. My true heart is a very human heart that has huge valleys of unbelief and doubt. My true heart screams, "I'm praying, but I'm going to try and take care of this myself, I'm telling you I want to give it to you, but I don't believe you can actually handle it by yourself. Your way is the hard way, and I just want to relax and have fun in life." Many of those statements can lead to other topics,but that would take far too long.
My point is that to build a house you have to lay a foundation. You can't start at the second floor. I think we have this scripture memorizing, tell as many people about Jesus and life is good complex in our Christian society and we've never allowed ourselves to be real about our unbelief, our questioning. Everything is possible to him who believes. But I think that's an outcome and not a beginning. A beginning is saying with this man, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" Do never come upon this question in life to me if fatal and will at some point stop your Christian life in its tracks and you will question all of life, even the existence of God himself. But I think even here God welcomes honesty. Help my unbelief.
Isn't the God of the Bible the same God of today? So why are thousands not being saved in one day, as the church of Acts, or why are miracles and healings not happening by the touch of a disciples hand and a prayer? why? Maybe one reason could be because we've lost the firm foundation, we lost our honesty in our 'walk with Jesus'. Everything has to be perfect and going well. We've lost our faith. We've lost the necessity of a network of believers. We've lost knowing that God is first Father and wants us to pour our true hearts and feelings out to Him- that to come to Him in our mask is utterly useless. I've put on a happy face my whole life. I've been the girl that's had it all together. IT'S NOT WORTH IT. That life is not worth living for. And the hardest thing is that I can't just cast it aside and the people-pleasing, I'm a great role model life disappear. Don't be fouled. In the accounts of Jesus telling people to follow him and they immediately dropped what they were doing and followed him, don't think that all of the sudden their lives were completely right. They still had the fisherman mindsets, the skimming off the top as tax collectors brain, but they realized that following Jesus was worth the hard road learning how to be more like Jesus and less like their human nature. Help me, Father, for I know not what I am doing. Romans 7:15-25.
Ah, but then the question is raised as to the attaining of such faith. As previously stated it does not come in a neatly tied box or cannot be humanly generated. That's unfortunate for those of us that are the bull headed, I can do it on my own and don't need anyone folks. But ah, Jesus came to call the sinners because the healthy aren't in need of a doctor, so maybe I should seek out my sin, in order to realize that I too am in great need of dependence on a Savior and cannot do anything to receive eternal life. So to answer this we turn to the Mark's gospel chapter 9 verses 22b to 24. I think this is such a humble way to come to Jesus. As strange as it may sound to us Bible belters, maybe this is where we should start in prayer. This man comes to Jesus in all his questioning and uncertainty and dares not act like he's got it all together, but instead says, "if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us." Sure we can read our Bibles and listen to "strong believers" tell us that God can do all things, but I think we have to grasp and believe that for ourselves, and not merely take someone's word for it. I think my whole life I've just had this understanding that God is over all things, but I've hardly come to Him in my true heart. My true heart is a very human heart that has huge valleys of unbelief and doubt. My true heart screams, "I'm praying, but I'm going to try and take care of this myself, I'm telling you I want to give it to you, but I don't believe you can actually handle it by yourself. Your way is the hard way, and I just want to relax and have fun in life." Many of those statements can lead to other topics,but that would take far too long.
My point is that to build a house you have to lay a foundation. You can't start at the second floor. I think we have this scripture memorizing, tell as many people about Jesus and life is good complex in our Christian society and we've never allowed ourselves to be real about our unbelief, our questioning. Everything is possible to him who believes. But I think that's an outcome and not a beginning. A beginning is saying with this man, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" Do never come upon this question in life to me if fatal and will at some point stop your Christian life in its tracks and you will question all of life, even the existence of God himself. But I think even here God welcomes honesty. Help my unbelief.
Isn't the God of the Bible the same God of today? So why are thousands not being saved in one day, as the church of Acts, or why are miracles and healings not happening by the touch of a disciples hand and a prayer? why? Maybe one reason could be because we've lost the firm foundation, we lost our honesty in our 'walk with Jesus'. Everything has to be perfect and going well. We've lost our faith. We've lost the necessity of a network of believers. We've lost knowing that God is first Father and wants us to pour our true hearts and feelings out to Him- that to come to Him in our mask is utterly useless. I've put on a happy face my whole life. I've been the girl that's had it all together. IT'S NOT WORTH IT. That life is not worth living for. And the hardest thing is that I can't just cast it aside and the people-pleasing, I'm a great role model life disappear. Don't be fouled. In the accounts of Jesus telling people to follow him and they immediately dropped what they were doing and followed him, don't think that all of the sudden their lives were completely right. They still had the fisherman mindsets, the skimming off the top as tax collectors brain, but they realized that following Jesus was worth the hard road learning how to be more like Jesus and less like their human nature. Help me, Father, for I know not what I am doing. Romans 7:15-25.
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