Weakness

I think I discovered one of my major weaknesses last night. I've known it all along, but just now am I coming to see how truly real and apparent it is. I have a hard time separating myself from being in situations but not of situations. Let me explain: Drama is absorbing and I find myself recently all too easily getting sucked in and before I know it I am not only communicating in the same fashion as those around me, but I am hurting myself and others emotionally, physically and spiritually by losing sight of eternal things and resting solely on temporal, meaningless, mindless things of the moment that within 30 minutes I will be frusterated and disgusted that I fell so easily.

"'To whom do I belong? To God or to the world?' Many of my daily preoccupations suggest that i belong more to the world than to God. A little criticism makes me angry, and a little rejection makes me depressed. A little praise raises my spirits, and a little success excites me. It takes very little to raise me up or thrust me down. Often I am like a small boat on the ocean, completely at the mercy of its waves. All the time and energy I spend in keeping some kind of balance and preventing myself from being tipped over and drowning shows that my life is mostly a struggle for survival: not a holy struggle, but an anxious struggle resulting from the mistaken idea that it is the world that defines me."

In our culture particularly, we mostly look to the opposite sex for confirmation and adoration. We push into them and work so hard at making ourselves seem worthy of praise. Then, we realize that the deep loneliness and void we feel isn't being fulfilled and we turn to more drastic measures. We believe this lie that worldly things can fulfill that great part of us that only God can fulfill. It's the puzzle piece that the rest of our puzzled life fits into to make it complete.