My Hiding Place

"They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to the man and said to him, 'Where are you?' He said, 'I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself'" Genesis 3:8-10.

I know the exact feeling Adam and Eve felt that day. I can feel it in my bones almost everyday. It's terrifying having someone really know you- know your thoughts, your deeds, your very core so well that you can't run or hide anything from them. It takes a pretty intimate relationship to reach this point and oftentimes we rarely have even one person in our lives we might let in this much. But then there's God.

In my experience this attribute of God is what's so terrifying, but yet awe-inspiring and freeing about Him. He knows my thoughts; He knows my heart; He knows my inner-longings and my goals; He knows my very frame. (Acts 15:8, Ps 44:21 and 103:14 , 1 Corinthians 3:20, Matt 9:4) He knows everything. All the yuckiness that I still hold inside. All the slander, malice, jealousy and anger. All the slothfulness, gluttony and resentment. All my shortcomings and faults. He knows it all. He knows when I give someone advice that I myself am not following, He knows the fronts I put on and the great acting ability I have sometimes. He knows. And He still loves me.

To me, that's the miracle. HE isn't frightened or looking on me smirkingly as He comes to cover my frailties. He isn't wincing because He HAS to love me. He had a choice and He chose me. He picked me out and molded me. He may me perfect, and although I've done an excellent job messing that up, He still calls me whole and puts me back in His arms day after day, despite my carrying on and running after lesser things, and makes His mercies new again.

He sees my nakedness and isn't ashamed- for Himself or for me. So why should I be so afraid? I can think of a thousand reasons still but if you think about it, they all fall short. He already sees all those things. We should find comfort in that nakedness with God, not fear. Because in that comfort we can find forgiveness. And in that forgiveness we can find peace. And in that peace we can find a way to heal and not continue to pile on the clothing layers of self-preservation and acting like we're better than we are. We can come to Him as we are, since He already knows, and find the courage to be better, to do better and to accomplish more for His glory- all the while watching and realizing our other layers are shedding away.

Psalm 32 sums it up perfectly - "You are my hiding place." Adam just picked the wrong one.