Doing Good

I went to Camp Norris this weekend, it was one of the most reviving weekends I've had in a long time. It was the kind of weekend that awakens the soul and motivates you to strive harder to live more fully and to realize that this life is so great. Camp Norris is a friend of mine's lake house, a cute little name we put on it because it's such a fun place.

I came into the weekend with a lot on my mind. I know that doesn't shock you, when am I not comtemplating something, but recently I've been thinking about the complexity of leading the Christian life IN this world but not OF this world. I live in a college setting that begs to be loved, to be cared for, to have someone to depend on. I live in a setting that needs stability, that needs to know that there is a God that is so great that He's worth giving our lives to because there's joy there and eternal satisfaction. "But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task, until I went into the sanctuary of God;" (ps 73:16-17a) This is where I am, and when I read this I sympathized with Asaph a great deal when he speaks of our great envy of the rich, the "happy", the outgoing- you know in a college setting they would be the people who go out a lot, the ones who always have something to do and we envy them because of the number of friends they have and the number of phone calls they get. It seems so lame reading it here on this screen, but it's such a huge struggle I have. But what great comfort that Asaph had the same struggle and you know what he did? He took it to God, he took it all to God and realized that in God we have everything we need. I think a lot of our tasks can seem wearisome when we realize how much we need to be doing to really make a difference in the world around us, but when we take it ALL to God it makes it much easier to bare the burden and our laundry list of good deads doesn't seem so draining, it seems filling. If in dealing with one who does not respond, I weary of the strain, and slip from under the burden then I know nothing of Calvary love. Amy Carmichael

A Prayer

"God teach me to be constant but not overwhelming, uplifting but not pedistaling, encouraging but not flattering, challenging but not demanding, honest but not forceful, gentle but not soft, meak but not lame, joyful but not overzelous, motivating but not nagging, peaceful but not oblivious, and above all to love friends the way I ought to love them and not for personal gain." I don't know if you go through hard times, I'd imagine you do, but I'm going through one. I have this crossroads of how I want to love a friend and how I should love a friend. I won't go into detail, but I bet you've been to that crossroad, even if not in the same story. It's this great desire that we have to be care about, loved and honored by other people. Sure affirmation and care are vital from people in our lives, why would God show us such community in the Bible, but there is always a point when you get close enough to a friend that you have to choose to love them over keeping them. What I mean is the hardest thing about friendship is being the friend you need, they need you to be above what they want you to be. We can be feel-goody, affirming friends all the time which is always great to have an encourager, but we also sometimes have to love them in a hard way, a way that you must choose to be ok with that person not taking well what you have to say but you know that you still have to say it. It's a choice, do you love them enough to choose the path that's best for them and maybe not seemingly best for you, or do you go on not loving them fully because you're scared to lose them? It's a general statement, I realize, but maybe you understand what I've saying.

Shields Carried Away

"So Shishak King of Egypt came up against Jerusalem. He took away the treasures of the house of the Lord and the treasures of the king's house. He took away everything. He also took away the shields of gold that Solomon had made, and King Rehoboam made in their place shields of bronze and committed them to the hands of the offices of the guard, who kept the door of the king's house. And as often as the king went into the house of the Lord, the guard came and carried them and brought them back to the guardroom. And when he humbled himself the wrath of the Lord turned from him, so as not to make a complete destruction. Moreover, conditions were good in Judah" (2 Chron 12:9-12). I look at these verses and the preceding ones and resonate with Rehoboam. Verse one of chapter twelve says "When the rule of Rehoboam was established, and he was strong, he abandoned the law of the Lord." That's where he went wrong- How often do good things happen in my life and I no longer "need" God? Sadly, I'd say it happens a lot. I'm walking into a new setting- a restaurant, a party, a new class or something else and I'm nervous, feeling self-conscious about my personality or looks and my instinct is praying that God would make it all ok. Then when I am comfortable or I find lots of happiness in that setting I lose that initial dependence on God and go about no leaning on Him until I "need" Him next. But God is not a God to be used at our pleasure, He is the God of plans and great purpose. So He levels Rehoboam and Judah in this part of our history. That not to say that God will level us, as though He's the grumpy Father who has a great temper for punishment, oh no, but to say that He knows how to bring us back to His side. But of this story what stuck out to me was the shields- these precious and very valuable shields his father made had now been taken away; he desperately makes bronze shields but he is forced to humble himself to God. Isn't this exactly like me? I cringe as I think of all the defenses, all the shields I put up around my life daily, putting out a stiff arm to vulnerability. I use all my own strengths and draw them together to war on my personal enemies taking up the meager shield I have made. God continues to pull those shields down but I keep making new ones, even pitiful ones of far less strength and worth. How sad. How truly sad that I CAN reach Rehoboam's ending of this story so much quicker by allowing the Bible to teach me its wisdom. Look, "when he humbled himself the wrath of the Lord turned from him." He wasn't destroyed, although he should have taken his own lesson to heart later in life. But we can learn from him- In God's presence there is FULLNESS of joy and without God the situation is not pretty, read it yourself.

Held in Awe

For Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and He is to be held in awe above all gods. (1 Chronicles 16:25) This verse struck me tonight, after the line of other verses preceding it. I wonder because what do I hold in awe above God? I was thinking along those lines tonight as I sat talking with some friends about ministry and having the time in college to devote to working to specifically spread knowledge about Christ. In early years I thought I was on earth to enjoy life and soak up all it had to offer. Then in more recent years I've adopted this I'm here in college to study and have a little fun on the side for sure mindset. But you know? That's still not why I'm here. Sure I can glorify God in my studies- that's a common misconception that I don't think we all realize- that in ALL things we can glorify God. But I'm not here to study, I'm here to Glorify God. That means allowing Him to reign and control time. Control the hours in my day to devote toward where He would have me be, not where I think is best. Am I holding in awe getting an A in that class over Glorifying God? Am I holding in awe trying to hang out with friends as much as possible over being where He would have me? There are so many things that are great things to do but still can be held in awe above God if we are not totally looking to him for our daily necessities- right down to the core details of what to do with each moment we have. Seek the Lord and His Strenth; seek His Presence CONTINUALLY! (vs.11)

Mississippi

I seem to not be very consistent with my updates, I really am going to try harder- time really does slip away so quickly. Anyway, my Mississippi spring break trip down to Bay St. Louis for hurrican relief was amazing.

There was this guy in my group that was great- well most of the guys were great but particularly this guy. He's got one of those smiles that lights up a room and really listens when you talk and remembers things. (No crush, so let's not go there k? haha) He reminded me so much of Jesus when I was down there that it made me really enjoy being in his presence. He was always making sure I was safe, but then again always right in the middle of the fun, making up stories, running around and helping out more than anyone else was. He did all the small jobs, the ones that most people wouldn't have wanted to waste their time on. We all kind of laughed and complained all at the same time because we had one of those houses that had hardly been touched since the hurricane and so much rain had come that my best suggestion was to bulldoze and start over. But we had the task of roofing this rotten monstrosity. A few of us mucked out the rest of the inside that was destroyed by sitting there too long. So the big deal is that this was the first time I was not angry about kind of wasting time. This guy was content and encouraging and I realized that maybe my thought process about time management needed adjusting. I'm one of those make the most of each moment people, that's why I didn't like going out to loud places in early college or being in big crowds- because you're conversations with peole lack substance. I was shown in Mississippi that just because I may not be doing what would build a lot or help the most I was spending time doing good and that time was worth it. I realized that time is a precious thing but that doesn't mean that we have to be busy for all of it or that we know how to fill it best. I try so hard to make things perfect when maybe I just need to let them fall and let God work things out the best way they can be. To build eternal things, even if the process is much slower, is better than building a thousand temporal- even if the temporal is what shows other people your hard work.

Kindness

I was sitting in class on Tuesday waiting a few minutes before it started (I know shock that I was early) when one of my classmates came in. He's in a wheel chair and always makes his way up to the front and scoots a few desks around and settles in on the window side of the room against the wall in the front. His positioning makes no difference but on this particular day there were a number of desks in his way and before I could even think of a way to help this guy that usually sits close (they don't know each other, we just are creatures of habit and sit in the same places every day), this guy gets up and pulls around a few desks very casually and makes just the perfect space for him. The greatest thing to me was that it wasn't charity, it wasn't because he felt sorry for him, it wasn't to be noticed, it was second nature. It wasn't a choice, it was an instinct. What if I lived my life more life that? That kindness would be apart of me, not something I have to practice. What if I spoke to people on the streets like I was genuinely glad to see them and to find out how they were? What if I helped people not because I wanted to be noted as a great person but because that's who I am and what i stand for? These are questions that I have, challenges that i hope I listen to, but mainly these are words that humble because so much of our day we can choose to make about ourselves or we can choose to make others more important and God most important of all.

A man Making Pasta

I met a man today in on of the school cafeterias. He was making pasta and I was in his line. He danced slightly and smiled from ear to ear. he was talking to me about going to a music show which is a few days long. He was so excited about it and couldn't contain it. You could tell that he was truly happy, not some daily change that I feel a lot. I've seen him before, and always the same way. Not fake so you wonder why he's so happy, but genuine and radiant about life. I wonder at people like that. I mean with my socio-economic status it's hard for me to see a pasta maker at our public school cafeteria could possibly be happy making whatever he does. That's harsh so say, but really I think we all would say it. How would you feel if that was your job? like a failure maybe? Ok, so he doesn't have our education, our availability or whatever in life but none the less as much as we say we respect people like that we kinda look down on them. I mean, if you aren't willing to do their job then you kinda think you're too good for it, which kinda means you look down on the person that does do that job. I'm off subject, but it's worth mentioning. Anyway, it struck me today that he was so happy being where he was, doing what he was doing and often I get fed up with my status. I always think I need to be doing something new, going somewhere new, making cool new stories so that life is fresh, yet someone like that can often be happier and more joyful than we are. I strive to be happy, when really maybe I should be content where I am.

I'll write about the Mississippi trip in a few days, so get excited!